I am some mean, hateful child these days. Everything and everyone is so hateful. I hate every single thing in my life. I am wallowing in self-pity everyday and thinking oh what a sad life I have to have to deal with the heat, the humidity, the incessant buzzing from somewhere and ohhhh the boring fish ball meepok if not wanton mee every single morning. Seriously, isn't there anything else to eat other than fish ball noodles and wanton mee for breakfast for the average Chinese family? Can we have something else for breakfast? GRAH!! Just kill me, just kill me! Maybe this is PMS at its greatest. No, not maybe. It is.
On a much lighter note, I'll have a fantastic dinner at Jac's later. Actually, no. This is a heavier note because the Amies are staying over while I'm not because suddenly I cannot do stayovers anymore. Because suddenly the rules change when I turn 21. Actually I am 21+1 but ughh it doesn't matter and I shouldn't and wouldn't bother anymore. And oh, don't talk about my curfew... Plus the car. Argh! Whatever...
I GIVE UP!
-After the dinner at Jac's,
just for the note, I didn't manage to get off scot-free for being home late. I reached home at 12.50am. Bad news. The father I wrote as role model on the Amies Profile 2009 turned out to be an angry one and so he went on to say that I lied to him when I'm oh-so-young and some other things which I couldn't hear 'cause I was locking the door, walking away, switching off my ears and very much not bothering. I could just stop and ask him who was the one who told such a beautiful lie about me being able to stay over when I turn 21 but argh! Like I said earlier in the day, I give up. I don't think it is going to matter anymore... I just have to live with it because this is my family and this is how my family works. Making a comparison with anyone else would not make things better and so I will not and so I will try to be contented with whatever I have, or not. While some stay out late till 4am and others do not even go home at all, I just have to be home by 2359h every single day till I have my own house. All I have to do now is to wait patiently for that day to come and maybe by then, I'll be too old to want to do anymore stayovers and it will be written on the question that asks about the greatest regret of my life in the 2059 Amies Profile.
Pause & Think.
Maybe not now.
I just wonder what I did wrong...
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